This December, I earned Iron Club at my CrossFit gym. Iron Club requires that a person attend at least 12 classes per month, for 12 consecutive months, without fail–no exceptions. It’s not complicated, but it’s hard to do. One bad cold or family vacation can easily derail you. A few years ago, our household got hit with the flu which kept me out of the gym for two weeks, and I forfeited my consecutive record. Nevertheless, I started all over. Iron Club is goal that I am proud to have achieved this year because it’s not about how hard I work or how heavy I lift. Iron Club rewards consistency over a long period of time.
Starting late January last year, I also focused more on good nutrition than I ever have in the past. I have always maintained a healthy diet, but I became even more consistent with nutrient-dense meals, 3 times a day, all year long. After experimenting with a few different things, I gave up what wasn’t working for me (goodbye intermittent fasting and low-carb) and stuck with the basics. I didn’t really change what I ate. I just ate more of it. More high-quality protein, more veggies, more things like butternut squash and bananas and homemade bread, more garden-fresh foods. Eating foods packed with nutrition every day for a whole year helped me improve my already good health. After several months of consistency, I noticed even better energy, faster recovery, more stable hunger levels, better skin, and hair that sheds far less. A focus on eating consistently well every single day has made my body more resilient. I wake up each day refreshed and ready to go.
This past year was also a milestone for me on a spiritual level. Fall 2023 brought some difficult realities I had to face, including walking away from a faith community we had been apart of for a long time. I had invested a huge amount of time, intention, and love into many people there. Although I wouldn’t have admitted it a year ago, stepping away was heartbreaking and exasperating for me. I felt like a total failure. No matter how much I tried, I realized I would never be good enough for certain people, and I had to come to a point where I was ok with that.
Throughout my life, my people-pleasing personality often finds itself at war with my impossibly strong conscience. Even as a kid, I remember fighting with myself, wishing that just for once I could be ok with doing the rebellious or childish thing like my friends. I never could. As much as I desperately want to make people happy and be seen as a reliable, trustworthy ally, I also have a very strong internal voice of ethic and conviction and a very hard time not listening to it. Last year, the core of my faith collided with my faith-circle and evangelical tradition. The internal struggle between trying to be what people wanted and trying to stand firm in what I believe became unbearable for me. My husband and I made the hard decision to quietly walk away and stick to what we believe.
That decision, while positive, left me in a vulnerable place. Somehow, I was both incredibly spiritually strong, yet beat up at the same time. I had been training hard, spiritually, for years: intensive Bible study, discipling others, hosting and leading small groups, writing materials, serving faithfully, studying heavy-duty theology, and praying constantly, sometimes for hours (day or night). Feverishly, the Spirit moved in my life and wasn’t letting off the gas. I experienced years of simultaneously exhilarating and exhausting spiritual growth. Last fall, I realized that I had come out the other side for the better, but I was in brand new territory. My own convictions and beliefs no longer fit within the boxes I had been given.
It would have been easy for me to give up. I could have quit reading my Bible, stopped learning and teaching, forsaken prayer, or walked away from the Christian community altogether. There were definitely times I wanted to. But I knew that time under tension brings growth. Like many months in the gym had taught me, sometimes you have to lean in to the spiritual discomfort, allowing the Lord to do His work and trusting Him to bring the things and people we need to keep going. I am humbled and grateful to say that He did. He provided exactly what I needed, and I am thankful to Him for keeping my heart soft and my hands busy with good things.
This year, I wrote more on this blog than I have in a long time. The pieces were longer, addressing far more complicated, controversial topics. I didn’t hold back. I didn’t hide myself behind what I thought others might want to see or what I felt was expected of me. I wrote what God put on my heart through the revelation of His word. All that writing has given birth to more writing. I’m already thousands of words into other projects.
As I reflect back on 2024, whether it’s time under a heavy barbell, working in the garden or kitchen, or digging deep into the pages of my Bible, the same themes weave throughout different aspects of my life. They all converge together, confirming what I’ve suspected for long time now: consistency is the key.
- Consistent nutrition
- Consistent sleep
- Consistent exercise
- Consistent fresh air and sunshine
- Consistent spiritual training
- Consistent worship and prayer
- Consistent quality moments with family and friends
- Consistent stress-management
- Consistent rest
- Consistently giving my best to my God
The older I get, the more I see that a high-quality life isn’t about perfection, income levels, a certain number of workouts per week, or other people’s perceptions. It’s about choosing to consistently, habitually do the things that make the body and soul well. Even when I don’t want to. Even when its hot or storming a blizzard outside. Even when I’m busy or tired and sore and hate the workout. Even on the days when I think I cannot possibly chew one more bite of meat or veggies. Even when I face humiliation. Even when people won’t like me for it.
I keep showing up. I keep moving and buying the good food. I keep getting outside everyday and turning the lights out by 9pm. I keep praying, growing, and asking the hard questions of Scripture. I stay consistent. I stay disciplined. I stay in the Word.
Stress and hard times come for us all. We all age and catch colds. At some point, we’re all hated for one reason or another. The question is not if you can handle those things, but how well you can adapt and emerge out the other side. Will I be a person strong, healthy, and wise enough to endure the tests of this world?
My goal for 2025 is to keep being consistent. Eat a little better, sleep a little more, push a little harder, study a little deeper, write a little stronger, pray a little bigger, laugh a little longer. But in the end, it’s not about my body or mind being strong. It’s about how consistently my heart can choose to expand it’s capacity to love. That’s what I’m training for.
Two Precious Stones 